Complaints, lodged

Just out here accidentally oxidizing my silver rings with stinky chemical depilatory product. And you?

I have the hand skin of a 1000 year old woman, and I'm at that point in the winter when

• I'm allergic to every possible hand lotion, meaning contact dermatitis that looks like a poison ivy rash and yet
• My skin is so dry my fingertips are cracking painfully

I have Googled the hell out of "itchy scalp," and this is my favorite answer.

clean bill of health

why so sad, minnow? the vet declared you healthy, the rabies shot didn't hurt at all; your itchies aren't fleas, just dry skin. and now you have an antihistamine, to get you through those long, scratching nights. could it be that she hurt your feelings just a tiny bit when she said, "he's not overweight yet, but he shouldn't gain any more"? or when she said you were "losing (your) waist"? or maybe, just maybe, when she used the word "sausage"??