Thursday, January 03, 2019

Trousers rolled, etc.

I spend what's no doubt a ridiculous amount of time mulling over what's good about growing older (versus the often all too obvious things that are NOT GOOD* about it). I think I do this for my ownself and also in some way for my kids. Whether they ever ask me about it or not, it's one of those strange (horrible?) parenting things. Like when they were just old enough for the terrible realities of life to hit them, wanting to be honest-but-optimistic somehow: Yes, death is a thing. is so great! YES, climate change. YES, getting older is achy and weird, BUT!

Anyway, as I age, I was starting to say, there are some things that get better, or that at least change in a way I find delightful. One of these for me is the intensity of individual sensory moments. Just really simple things, like a bite of delicious food, the way a shaft of sunlight falls on the floor, the smell of my unlit maple candle as I walk past it, the feeling of the hot water on my skin as I step into the shower.  I notice these moments all day long, pretty much every day, and it's a relatively recent thing, at least this intense noticing. It's hard to feel down or gloomy for long when every tiny event in my day has such potential to briefly overwhelm me with feeling, with sense.

Today, for example:

  • Gus's brown eye, looking me directly in the eyes. When I say, "Gus," he's (somewhat) trained to make eye contact with me. I mean, he's doing it for the treat, but still!
  • The smell of that candle is crazy. I love the delay between smelling it and realizing what it is I'm smelling.
  • The first sip of coffee with the last of the cream. I worried about getting it right, new coffee beans. I got it right.
  • The upper left hand corner of the kitchen window at 1 pm. Fairy lights on a thin brass cord, the willow tree's dancing shadow against the glass. 

As I'm taking time away from social media, well MOST of it, where else can I put this but here? CLICK ON IT.

*I started to make a list of all the NOT GOOD things down here, but that's no fun

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