Thursday, February 07, 2019

Opposite day

The opposite of a gratitude list, or as Ganching might say, "minuses."* 

  • A man at Whole Foods sort of walked "through" me several times in the produce section. I have never felt more invisible! He'd be like, "Woah, excuse me!" after basically stopping right in front of me as I was striding purposefully, or the opposite, where he'd realize he was about to walk into me at the very last minute. I'm sure it wasn't me, it was him, but still.
  • If you're on your phone, looking down at it, as you pull up to or through an intersection, or go around a corner, while driving your fucking car, you make me feel like an elderly person because I believe it's my duty to scowl at you.
  • My boots smell like cat pee.**

*She always pairs them with "pluses," though.

**Theo has nothing to do with it. It's actually just "wet boot," but it's reminiscent of cat pee, which is actually another vivid memory-spurring scent, back to the basement of friends just a few doors down from our house when I was in fifth grade and we'd play down there. It seemed very cool (I think there was a "bar" in the basement), but boy did it smell like cat pee.

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