Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Socially awkward dogs in penguin costumes

So I survived my colonoscopy! 

  • My gastroenterologist looks younger every time I see her (I've been seeing her for about six years). Her bedside manner has improved. I am so reassured by her, she seems incredibly competent. 
  • There was some kind of minor emergency that meant I had to lie there, prepped and waiting, for an hour, with nothing to read. I just listened to the nurses laughing and admired the "disposable curtains" in my "room," labeled to be disposed of in July. There were honeycombed mesh panels at the top that were nice to look at.
  • I was slightly more awake for it this time? At least, I thought I was at the time, but in retrospect, maybe not?*
  • My intake nurse's name was Jim, and he was from Montreal and has dual citizenship. His favorite book is 100 Years of Solitude. He told me not to drive a car later, but also not to make any financial decisions.*
  • I chose from the snack options, with utter assurance: water and a granola bar. Then I worried I'd made the wrong selection.*
  • Wandering around in a hospital johnny looking for a bathroom, pre-procedure = priceless.

*"Twilight sleep" = versed and fentanyl**

**To be frank, I wish I could have twilight sleep on airplanes. Someone could wheel me off at my destination and give me some apple juice and pretzels.

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