Saturday, August 05, 2006
reviews of milk
boingboing brought this to my attention: if you've got a little time to kill and are desperately in need of amusement, check out the more than 350 reviews on amazon of tuscan whole milk, 1 gallon.
Drink this milk immediately! , August 4, 2006
Reviewer: A. E. Vincent (New York, NY) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)
If you don't, you'll regret it. You think, Oh, I'll have the nutritious Tuscan Milk tomorrow, today I want a Sprite. And then the next day you want a Sprite, and then the next, and then you're looking at the milk with suspicion and just a little bit of guilt. And it works its way back farther and farther into the fridge, behind the Sprite and the OJ and the carton of shrimp fried rice, until it's in that corner in the very rear, right beside the cute little jar of peach preserves you bought at the farmer's market that time, and you paid, like, $6 for it because you wanted to support local business and besides, wouldn't that taste good on English muffins? But you never get English muffins, and mostly you don't even make toast, not since the toaster broke, even though you haven't thrown THAT out either, it's just cluttering up the countertop like the George Foreman grill before it, JESUS, what is wrong with you? So the preserves are now probably some biological experiment gone wrong, and maybe you could kill somebody by feeding them those preserves, but you'll never find out, because let's face it, those preserves are just going to sit there getting older until you move. The milk's going to end up JUST LIKE THAT. Unless you drink it immediately.
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